How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
