She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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