She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
