Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
