I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
