I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
cat food counts as protein by the way
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
