Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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