I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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