I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
