He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
