i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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