we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
