hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
