Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
