My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
