it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize