The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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