oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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