Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
