I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
