I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
