He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
