Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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