Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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