when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Floor bacon is actually really good
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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