Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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