i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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