If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
