I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
