Midget sex pt 2 tonight
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
