In the future we'll all be gay
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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