there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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