Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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