In America we eat man semen.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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