white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize