I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
