I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
