I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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