im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
