just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
