Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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