we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize