Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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