Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
