Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
