Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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