anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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