She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just want to make out with him forever
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize