she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
