you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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