everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
