pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
