Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize