Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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