I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
