His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
