dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
