just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
