ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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