Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
