Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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