I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
