it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize