what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
